Archive for Movie Reviews

Uncooked spaghetti…sandwich; Pineapple Express review

This is one way to describe what happens when you smoke weed.

Pineapple Express is another way.  Pineapple Express‘s way is to describe how you can accidentally witness a murder while getting high on the clock when you work as a process server, and suffer raging paranoia for hours which snowballs into getting hunted down by crooked cops and hitmen, and getting caught in the middle of a massive drug war.

Pineapple Express is another in the line of classic Apatow comedies, though this is another one that mixmaster Judd only produced; Superbad geniuses Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg wrote the script for this, and relatively unknown (but apparently hugely respected in the industry) director David Gordon Green helmed this stoner action comedy.  Because as far as genres go, once you have this movie labeled as such, it really is that straightforward.

First, let’s get the character actor handshakes out of the way.  Craig Robinson and Kevin Corrigan were amazing as the hitman combo Matheson and Budlofsky.  Robinson is better known for his roles as Darryl Philbin in The Office and as the bouncer in Knocked Up, and he’s never been anything but laugh out loud funny, mostly because his deadpan, while rivaling that of Chevy Chase or Bill Murray in its pure comedy, is more an “I’m gonna fuck you up if you say one more word” deadpan than a “What a hilariously awkward situation” deadpan.  Corrigan, best known to me as terrifingly sketchy party host Mark in Superbad and for his role in the show Grounded For Life, in which he played Kramer, if he was less physically weird, and just turned up the “I’m probably a wanted felon for a number of reasons” sketch-o-meter to 11, is also great, if only for the way he just shrugs his shoulders while disappointing or deceiving whomever he’s talking to.  But he’s not as funny as Robinson.

Or James Franco, who the big handshake goes to.  He’s so hilarious in this movie because he pulls off the “I’ve smoked so much weed that I am never not high” vibe so well it’s scary.  Check his face when he and screen-sharer Seth Rogen realize their car battery is dead.  Unbelievable.  Danny McBride as Red here is also incredible, more in the Craig Robinson school of daring you to laugh at his painfully straight face.  Rogen, writer and star if you haven’t been taking notes, lets other characters play off him for the most part, but he gets his fair share of laughs, mostly in his exchanges for his high-school girlfriend, Angie.  He’s 25 in the movie, by the way (26 in real life).

The real star of this movie is the writing, though.  It’s less like Knocked Up and Superbad because it’s not structured or reliant on one-liners for its comedy.  The comedy here is in entire exchanges or scenes; the way things are put together, like Rogen and Franco in their holding cell at the head dealer’s hideout, punctuated by, you guessed it, Robinson.

For my money, however, all the funniest scenes come from just watching how Rogen and Franco react to things when they’re high, most of all being their onset of paranoia in the woods, which I really can’t go into a lot of, because I already spoiled the surprise for Ben before he saw it with me (I had seen the film clip on Comedy Central the day before).  Oh well.

On that same token, I’ve been trying to go easy on the spoilers in my movie reviews.  Would any of my readers prefer that I go into more detail, or continue to save the movie for those who haven’t seen it?  Feel free to comment with your response – every time you comment, I get an email, and I love to get emails.  They make me feel like the world recognizes my existence.

P.S. – Hey, this is the 50th post on this blog! What a ways we’ve come, eh? Thanks to all of those who have prevented me from losing my faith in this site so far.  Keep up the readership, it means a lot!

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Once Upon A Time In The West review

I figure the name of the movie is too long to make it a subtitle, and I’m tired, so this will be a bullet-point review.  Sergio Leone wrote and directed Once Upon A Time In The West after his famed “Man With No Name” trilogy; hence we have a Clint Eastwood-less spaghetti Western, and with good reason.  I can’t imagine a single role he could have played in this movie.

  • Hey, I didn’t know a Geico caveman was in this movie! Oh, wait, that’s Charles Bronson as Harmonica.  I know every guy in this movie was made up to look leathery and sun-toasted, but God, he looks like the inside of a catcher’s mitt.  Oh well, it makes him look badass on the countless extreme close-ups on his face.
  • For any fan of 50’s-60’s movies, having Henry Fonda do what he does at the beginning of this movie as Frank is like having Barack Obama discovered as the guy in what everyone thought was R. Kelly’s sextape.  It’s twisted.
  • After this, I’ll move on from the acting: Fonda, Bronson, Jason Robards as Cheyenne, and Gabriele Ferzetti as Morton are all beyond words as far as their acting goes.  The latter three are the ones with ambiguous motivations, and all of them at times look more menacing or sinister than Fonda.  Classic Leone directing, and my dad would be proud of me for giving big ups to Robards, who I think is the best of all of them here.
  • Ennio Morricone is the most famous movie music maker other than John Williams, and he’s in top form, with his separate themes for all the main characters, giving each of the characters a bit more depth without anyone saying anything.  Brilliant.
  • Before Frank comes on screen for the first time and after he leaves for the last time, this movie slows to an almost unbearable crawl.  I don’t think it’s because of his acting, I think it’s because without him, there’s no conflict, but still some plot, so Leone is kind of unsure of himself.
  • I love the revealing of Harmonica’s motivation.
  • I don’t think I would be remotely alone if I were to say that this is overall Leone’s best work other than The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, despite what I said about the movie slowing down.  If it didn’t have those problems, I’d seriously consider it right along with GBU, seriously.

Maybe another movie review tomorrow, who knows; but I do have a general outline for my next few music reviews – I’ve done a bit of catching up with music released earlier this year that I hadn’t heard at first, so watch out for Bonnie “Prince” Billy, Los Campesinos!, Flight of the Conchords, and Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson.

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Happy birthday to me; The Sting review

No, it’s not my birthday today, or tomorrow; it is still the 28th of September, but the world of audiovisual media seems to have already known that, so get on the ball already, willya? Band-crush TV On The Radio drops their next album – Dear Science, – on the 23rd of the month (and yes, the comma is in the title; I like that creative choice) and The Fall, a little-seen movie that I believe is the best movie of the year so far (don’t look so indignant, WALL-E and IMDb number one Dark Knight, you guys were great too), comes out on DVD on September the 9th, plenty of time for me to show it to everybody! Don’t roll your eyes, dammit, it’s a great film!

Anyway, The Sting is one of the all-time classics, so I’m told, directed by George Roy Hill and starring Paul Newman and Robert Redford, AKA two of the all-time Hollywood pretty boys who could act to boot.  Their other great duo feature was Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, also directed by Hill.  The two movies have a little similarity in the way the two leads play off each other – in both, Paul Newman plays the wisecracking, confident senior partner, while Redford plays the roguish, dashing young gun with a chip on his shoulder.  Hill’s directing probably has a lot to do with it, since lots of the looks these guys give are the same – the looks, I feel, are more a director’s influence than the delivery of the lines, since it’s harder to control the way an actor says each word than whether or not he raises his eyebrows, and here it’s Newman’s smirk and his sideways glance, and the way Redford looks down, rolls his eyes and grits his teeth when he gets shut up or has to take an earful.

If you think that analysis was a little too subtle, then you probably think that The Sting‘s greatness is a little too subtle, because on the surface, it’s like an older, smaller-scale Ocean’s 11 – a movie about con men getting personal, getting dangerous and looking good doing it.  But where the latter movie is the slickest of slick entertainers, the former is gritty and more believable.  In Ocean’s 11, you never really feel any sort of danger for the characters; Terry Benedict seems intimidating, but he’s more comical than anything.  Robert Shaw (also known as Quint from Jaws) is downright scary as Doyle Lonnegan, and in other scenes, you really think there’s a chance Redford’s Johnny Hooker could die at the hands of Lonnegan’s men.

You also never lose the feel of the Great Depression era that the film is set in.  That’s why it won/got nominated for all the technical Oscars; it had an authentic feel, even if it was inaccurate (and I didn’t look it up, so I don’t know.  I’m not a Wikipedia fiend all the time, like some people).  The music was also great, and it won a terribly-worded Oscar for that as well, so I’m not sure what its qualifications were.

I actually don’t have much else to say about this movie, because it was so straightforward, which is I think what people dig about it so much – it didn’t try to make anything more artistic or more stylized than necessary to tell the story well, and the film is really carried by the actors.  Other than the three that I previously mentioned, who were all incredible, Charles Durning was great as the Joliet crooked cop who goes a little overboard and winds up in over his head.  If you recognize that name from something recent, it’s because he won this past year’s Lifetime Achievement Award from the Screen Actor’s Guild.  As a character actor whose IMDb page is too long to believe, he really did deserve it, and I can’t wait to see the movie that he’s most famous for, Dog Day Afternoon.

I’ll see if I can knock one more movie review off tomorrow before I get back to random combinations of music and movies.  Also, keep on the lookout for some more guest contributors making their debut, because I’m looking forward to them probably more than you guys all are.

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The Dark Knight was too good for me to review

So I’m just going to give you a laundry list of reviews that you can peruse if you wish.

AintitCoolNews.com: Alexandra DuPont, Capone, Quint, Moriarty (companion piece with Hellboy II)

New York Times: Manohla Dargis

LA Times: Kenneth Turan

New Yorker: David Denby (WALL-E review on page 2)

New York magazine: David Edelstein (Mamma Mia! review on page 2)

New York Observer: Andrew Sarris

The two Davids are negative reviews; figured I’d add some ideological (EDITED) fluidity, but I don’t agree with them.

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Youtubish glory!; Das Boot review

So, in addition to the amazing music video I linked to yesterday, a couple amazing video clips online have caught my attention.  The first one is a 20-second clip titled “The Dramatic Lemur” which, for my money, totally owns “The Dramatic Chipmunk” (which is really a prairie dog anyway).  The second one is far more legitimate.  It is not a Youtube clip.  It is a musical entitled “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-along Blog“.  I’m going to state just the facts about it, because those are all you need to shit your pants in amazement.  It is created by Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer and Firefly.  It stars Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillion (star of Firefly) as a supervillain and a superhero, respectively.  It is a musical in three parts that are free online now, but will not be beyond Sunday.  It is so amazing I can’t stand it.  That last part was opinion, but damned if I don’t believe it’s fact.

Das Boot is a German movie made in 1981, written and directed by Wolfgang Petersen and starring Jürgen Prochnow.  It is not the weird-ass drinking game featured in the climactic scene of Beerfest, though that also featured Prochnow, coincidentally.  I assure you, he is not a strangely non-threatening corporate villain here.  He’s a totally badass, half-crazy submarine captain.

This movie clocks in at 3 and a half hours, meaning it’s a real commitment of a movie, and like most commitments, you’re not really sure that everyone will survive the whole way through, and by the end, you’re sure everyone will not survive.

But let’s get one thing straight: this movie kicks total ass.  I would not have expected a movie that’s so dark and introspective to have so many awesome badass moments, but this movie was choc-full-o’ them, and most of them came from Prochnow.  He had this look that he would give from time to time that I would just pump my fist at, where his eyes would just narrow and slide lazily from a thousand-mile stare towards the person he was addressing, and he would break into a smile that was either rueful or sly, depending on the situation.  I really was thinking, “Wow, this guy’s either totally insane or the most sane guy ever, but I can’t tell which yet.”  However, as the movie progresses, I leant more towards the crazy side, though that really took nothing away from his character’s pathos.

Like with most of the movies I have reviewed positively on this site that may not be the most watched among my readers, I’m going to stray from spoilers, so I’ll focus on the technique side of things, since the plot is pretty consistenly great and in my mind, unassailable.

The writing: Awesome, because it has those long pregnant pauses that can build drama like words never can, and a great movie knows when to let a moment breathe; it also has those one liners that are like the word GRAVITAS!!!! scrolling across the bottom of the screen – like when the submarine is shipping out to sea and the reporter is taking pictures, Prochnow’s character says, “Take pictures of the crew returning, not putting out to sea.  They’ll have grown beards by then. It would shame the Tommies to see mere boys give them Hell. Baby faces. Ones that should still suck mama’s breast.”  He shows cynicism for the higher-ups in war, and for war in general, but he shows nothing but pride for his men, even though he knows they’re still children.  The perfect leader.

The acting: Beyond Prochnow, it’s mostly awesome, though there were a couple of the minor sailors I thought were just not developed actors – not really anyone’s fault, they needed to cast young, so they got young actors.  However, a couple supporting characters really caught my eye.  Heinz Hoenig played Heinrich, the boat’s sonar operator and medic, and it’s sad that the movie was made nearly twenty years ago.  Otherwise, I would have a new mancrush.  He’s completely magnetic, and that comes without overplaying a single line.  His performance was flawless.  Also, Hubertus Bengsch plays the 1st Lieutenant, who is the staunch patriot for Hitler, who says all the right things, whose beliefs get broken down as he gets more broken down over the course of the movie.  When he starts growing a beard with everyone else, you can tell and it rules to see that kind of character development.

The technical aspect of the movie, from directing to editing to sound and everything was the real star, however.  I don’t want to get into real specifics, I just think that the very intimate and claustrophobic submarine setting was emphasized incredibly well, and I wish that people who see this movie after reading this try to keep that in the back of their mind when they watch the movie, because it really deserves appreciation.

This is one of my longest reviews, which is appropriate for a long movie like this, so I won’t drag it along any farther.  Good movie.

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Long weekend over; Dante’s Peak review

Long story short: I had a really busy few days and decided to de-prioritize blogging for a while, but I’m back with a couple movie reviews (tonight and tomorrow) before I get to some music from the upcoming Siren Music Festival at Coney Island.

A personal note first, though: I submit to Nicole a nomination for a BOTO pick for worst shoe salesman ever – the guy at Finish Line who recommended these Nike Shox shoes because I told him I had low arches.  He gave me a size 10 shoe along with “ThinFit” insoles, meant to be worn in dress shoes that you’ve outgrown but would still like to fit in (read: NOT RUNNING SHOES).  What’s so wrong with that? Well, there’s a story that explains that.  When I went out for my first run in these new shoes, after about two minutes of running, my feet were in excruciating pain that was making its way up all the joints of my left leg.  I decided something was wrong and went back the next day to Finish Line, and talked to the manager.  Turns out that my feet were actually 11’s, and I was informed about the insoles I previously mentioned.  Rage, then the purchasing of New Balance shoes, followed.

Dante’s Peak is a hilariously bad movie, the reason I chose to watch it rather than the last hour or so of Das Boot, the review of which will come tomorrow.  I wanted the review I came back with to be a light one, and what could be more light than a town-destroying volcano?

I’m not going to go into too much depth about the movie itself, and this won’t be a terribly long review.  Here are some quick hits:

  • Wow, they really tried to make Pierce Brosnan an American character.  Wow, did it not work.  At all.
  • I love how the giant cloud of ash overtakes the entire town in mere seconds, save for the one street on which Pierce Brosnan’s truck is driving, natch.
  • If you read this and then watch the movie, try not to imagine the red-bearded guy as Timothy Busfield.  Go ahead, try not to.  Now you can’t.
  • Aw, the mayor still works at the coffee shop she owns in town.  You’d think that between those two jobs, she could pay for one waitress.
  • Speaking of the mayor, if her last name is Wando, she’s not blonde and blue-eyed, and she doesn’t live in the Pacific Northwest.  At least if it was Watto, she’d be more qualified to run the coffee shop, provided it sold a few spare parts and gambled away a few child slaves.
  • All hail Pierce Brosnan’s shirt, which has the power to withstand sulfuric acid better than a metal boat.  All hail.
  • Here’s to you, Grandma Ruth.  Let’s go over how many different ways she fucked up: She suggested a swim in the acid lake, refused to leave her cabin-on-the-volcano, which prompted her idiot grandkids to drive up to try to save her, prompting their idiot mom and idiot Pierce Brosnan to drive up and save them, which led to them all going boating through the acid lake, where, when the acid ate the propeller of the boat they were taking across, she jumped into the acid to pull the boat to shore, then seemed surprised to find that the acid was, in fact, painful.  After being carried halfway down the mountain, her last words were, “At least I got to die on the mountain,” completely ignoring that the mountain, in fact, murdered her.  Here’s to you, so drink.  Drink up.  Drink up.  Drink up.
  • Props to Ethan for pointing out the worst-delivered and worst-written line in the movie.  I can’t possibly relate how bad it was in text, so just watch the last ten minutes and find the line by the mousy-haired girl on the volcanology staff.  It will probably jump out at you.
  • There were a couple of what I like to call “foreshadowing hammers” here (meaning, times where the movie hits you in the face with a hammer labeled FORESHADOWING), but my favorite was when the squirrels were laying around dead, and the mayor of the fucking town, responsible for the well-being of the town says, “Must be some sort of squirrel epidemic,” then just moves on.  Well, doucheclown, don’t you think it’s your job to alert some sort of person qualified to investigate “squirrel epidemics”?
  • My favorite “oh my god, that’s actually blatantly false” quote comes from Mayor Wando and rounds out this review that wound up pretty long because I like bullet points: “A man who looks at a rock must have a lot on his mind.”

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Never forget; Beerfest review

So I just now bought a hoodie online for next year, since I decided it was time for another funny shirt.  This one caught my eye not as a laugher, but as something clever and vaguely cool.  I enjoy it.  I was going to buy a funny t-shirt, but I have waaaaaaaay too many t-shirts as it is.

So let’s get the first negative review on this site out of the way.  Beerfest sucks.  Beerfest is a movie made by the Broken Lizard guys and directed by Jay Chandrasekhar, the guys who made Super TroopersSuper Troopers was awesome. Beerfest sucks.

The plot of the movie goes as follows, and this is laden with spoilers because, let’s face it, who gives a shit about the plot anyway, even if you like the movie: Two brothers, after their grandfather’s death, take his ashes to his homeland, Germany, during Oktoberfest.   While there, they stumble onto a secret beer drinking and drinking game competition, Beerfest.  They get humiliated there and go back home to start an American team to compete at the next year’s competition, encountering numerous twists and turns while training, like ram’s piss and man whores.  You know, the usual stuff.  They get to the competition, losing to the unbeatable German team, and then improbably win a sudden death matchup.  Yawn, seriously.

As you can tell, this movie relies almost entirely on beer jokes and drinking/drunk jokes, all of which have been told in some way before by other people, none of which are more than a little funny here.  I can’t think of a single person who was funny in this movie except for Jay Chandrasekhar, who was pretty funny to start, and got less funny as the movie went on.  Then the outtakes in the credit sequence got funny again.  That was just about it.

Outrageous amounts of fake beer are drunk in this movie, and none of it is all that convincing.  I’m pretty sure they didn’t even drink the fake beer.  Also, most of the characters, while drunk, didn’t really act all that realistically drunk.  I mean, it’s hard to act drunk when you’re not drunk, and they would have to dynamite their livers in order to be drunk enough to do this whole movie realistically.  Not to mention that they wouldn’t be able to remember their lines or things like that.

Just for “shitsandgiggal”, as is said in the movie once or twice, let’s reel off the actors who weren’t funny in this movie: Paul Soter, Erik Stolhanske, Cloris Leachman, Jürgen Prochnow, Bjorn Johnson, Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme (as the least-convincing geek Jew EVER), and the list goes on.  I’ll just wrap this up by saying I’ll probably have another music review for you guys tomorrow, and to encourage any and all of my contributors to just shoot me a review whenever they’d like.

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I’m a lying liar who lies; Run Lola Run review

So no Coldplay review tonight, because I wasn’t home in between the hours of 1 PM and 2 AM.  But I did watch a great movie last night which I will review now.

Run Lola Run, written and directed by Tom Tykwer, to use Harry Knowles‘ term, is bugnuts.  It’s only around 70 minutes long, and starts out with immediate intense action with only two small breaks.  Lola, played by Franka Potente (better known as the female lead in The Bourne Identity), is called by her boyfriend, Manni, who asks her why she was late and tells her that he’s a dead man because of it.  We (the audience) are confused.  We find out more from the rest of the conversation associated with flashbacks, and we discover that Manni, standing in a payphone, needs $100,000 in 20 minutes or he will rob the grocery store across the street, which is essentially suicide.  Lola’s job is to try to get the $100,000 before he does just that.  She goes to her father for the money, with varying degrees of success.

The story is told three times, each starting the same way and varying more and more as slight differences affect other events which interconnect and create three radically different storylines in a really cool way.  Most of all three involves Lola running.  Run, Lola, run.

The acting is really fun and cool in this, with some outrageous performances coming while being played straight-faced, especially from the father.  The writing is utilitarian – after all, it’s only a 70-something minute movie, so lines are short and sweet.  However, the concept of the movie is part of the writing too, and we can’t discount how awesomely this movie is thought up.

But, the part that makes all of this work is the directing.  I have no idea who Tom Tykwer is, but he really owns this movie.  The short animated sequences are awesome, the quick shots which sum up people’s lives in photos (really), the fades and split-screens, all of them are used perfectly and the movie just fucking bolts you to your chair while you’re watching.  I couldn’t believe how tightly this movie was made, how fast it moved.  In a way, I wish that this movie was longer, because the direction was so blissfully awesome and the feel of the movie was so bugnuts, but in a bigger way, I like how short it was, because that’s how short it needed to be.  Any longer, and the sequences would have to be slower, stories would have to be extended to near-breaking point, and the movie just wouldn’t work as well.

I don’t think this was a perfect movie, but this movie wasn’t built to be perfect.  People would love this movie like they would love Shoot ‘Em Up – don’t ask why, just enjoy the shit out of this movie because it forces you to.  I kind of feel dirty analyzing the movie as it is, because it is so NOT that kind of movie, but that’s why I’m not getting into plot choices or anything like that.  Suspension of disbelief is so key to this movie that overanalysis would sap enjoyment from this movie dumb quick.  I highly recommend this movie, and will show it to anyone who says they want to watch a fun movie and don’t have a lot of time.

P.S. – Franka Potente is super hot in this movie, so you know.  Rocking the pink hair.

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You Can’t Keep Jumping Over The Bar If You Keep Raising It: Ben’s WALL-E Review

Note from Matt: Hey everybody, this is the first review from our third contributor, the illustrious and talented Ben! This is our longest review yet, but sometimes a real read is great, especially when it’s about what looks to be an awesome movie.  I’ll shoot you guys a music review tomorrow.  Thanks all!

When I went to see Pixar’s newest contribution to modern, feature-length animation, my expectations were more than a little high.  Ever since its inception, Pixar has continued to blow me away with their advances in just about every movie.

Toy Story recaptured much of Disney’s old glory, and created a series of moments that will always stick in my memory.  Bug’s Life was less adult than its contemporary, Antz, but had much more heart.  Toy Story 2 was in no way a step down from the original.  Then came Monsters Inc., which, both visually and emotionally, opened up a new era.  The hair on the monsters was lifelike, and demonstrated that CG animation could look real without focusing on characters that were, well, plastic.  More importantly, Pixar reinforced its dedication to the heritage of animation.  The sequence in which Sulley believes that Boo is being crushed by a garbage machine is a marvelous tribute to the classic shorts of Tex Avery and Chuck Jones, but doesn’t feel like Pixar is just rehashing old ideas.

Since then, Pixar has continued to do nothing but raise the bar on itself.  In the end, this studio has been successful because they’ve hired and kept the best talent: Brad Bird – Ratatouille and The Incredibles, Andrew Stanton – Finding Nemo, and John Lasseter – Toy Story come to mind.  More importantly, unlike Dreamworks, they understand that classic cartoons can entertain viewers of all ages, without resorting to peppering pop culture references and sexual innuendo sporadically into a kids’ movie.  And perhaps most importantly of all, these filmmakers understand the heart and soul of moviemaking.  These movies entertain, but you end up caring about the characters, and they’re people (or fish or creatures or action figures) that you’ll always remember.  The Incredibles demonstrates that honoring superhero mythology can succeed with a wide audience if you do it in a fresh, innovative way.  Ratatouille was an enormous step forward in animation, as particularly the first kitchen sequence illustrates how vividly the animators can create a universe and then portray it from the point of view of a mouse.

This summer, Pixar has brought us the latest and final creation resulting from that first creative meeting that brought us A Bug’s Life, Finding Nemo, and Monsters Inc.  Needless to say, I had enormous expectations for this movie.

WALL-E begins on a desolate, futuristic Earth, abandoned by mankind due to over-pollution.  Left alone to clean up the mess, WALL-E has developed a distinct curiosity in the items he finds in the trash, and, more importantly, feelings.  He has a strong affinity for his cockroach companion and an obvious soft spot for Hello Dolly (this is one of those times where you have to suspend your disbelief and accept that some people might actually like that film).  The first half hour of the film has very little interaction between characters; it merely features a lone robot interacting with his environment.  It is done with a great deal of heart, and no less than some of the most effective physical comedy Pixar has ever given us (and that’s quite a complement, especially after the opening short film that accompanies WALL-E).  However, it took a lot of balls for Pixar to start a potential blockbuster with 30 minutes of what many young children watching may see as drudgery to sit through (although they probably won’t use such elevated diction).

Soon, EVE arrives, and WALL-E has a companion, albeit one that resembles an iPod with a laser.  Their interactions are very sweet, as WALL-E tries to establish a connection with another being, having not had anyone to talk (or in this case, beep and hum) to for centuries.

Just when you think this movie is going to result in a simple story about robots in love, Pixar decides to change things on its audiences.  As I mentioned in the title of this article, Pixar had raised the bar so high that I don’t think it would have been possible to jump over it with this film.  Thus, as innovative filmmakers would, they decide on a different strategy: Andrew Stanton straps this film (and its protagonist) to a rocket and shoots it into outer space, well above whatever bar critics were holding it to.

I don’t want to spoil the final 2/3 of this movie for any of you, so I will avoid major plot points.  Basically, this movie has a great deal of commentary on the current direction of our society and our social interactions (some of you might recall my ranting about the evils of iPods during a few sequences).  It also continues Pixar’s proud tradition of recognizing its cinematic roots, and appreciating the movies that came before it.  Although I didn’t catch any overt R2-D2 references (even though the “voice” of WALL-E, Ben Burtt, was the sound designer for all Star Wars products in the last 30 years), the film spoofs 2001: A Space Odyssey and Titanic.  Both of these jokes are done with love, and far from the sort of style you’d expect from something like Family Guy.

The movie truly is captivating.  The plot moves along quite well, and despite throwing some very heavy revelations about our consumerism in our faces, it never lingers too long on darkness surrounding the plot, preferring instead to move the plot along.  I like this element of WALL-E; I think it achieves a great deal as a science-fiction movie, but decides to ultimately be a family flick.  The movie itself is surprisingly dark.  I can’t recall a children’s movie with as dark a view of humanity in my lifetime.  It (as far as I know) is also the first Pixar film to mix some live-action shots into the CG universe (which is handled quite well by the ever-dutiful Fred Willard), but these never end up distracting you.

The strictly limited doses of dialogue may throw some people away from this movie.  I urge you not to be turned off by it.  Not since Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton have filmmakers been truly able to speak the language of movies without dialogue, but this film pulls it off with little more than a few beeping noises.

I admit being afraid, when I first began seeing advertisements for Pixar’s latest creation, that this would be a cute, talking-robot comedy – something akin to Robots.  I now realize the error of ever doubting Pixar (with the exception of Cars), but I still am reminded of Anton Ego’s wisdom at the end of Ratatouille:  “In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations, the new needs friends.”

This movie dares to achieve greatness without the use of significant dialogue (and aspiring filmmakers should take that lesson to heart).  I hope that none of you are turned off by this decision, but instead appreciate it for what it is: a glorious addition to the already proud collection of Pixar movies.  I’ll be slotting it in my list just below Ratatouille, right next to Monsters Inc, and just above Finding Nemo, Toy Story, and The Incredibles.

I hope to do some more blogsturbating on this site soon, when I am not preoccupied with my own, less culture-related blog.

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3-hour games that last 9 hours; Get Smart review

So I was planning on not reviewing Get Smart and instead reviewing old-skool King Kong, but I didn’t have enough time to watch the latter movie because of my attendance at a certain unenjoyable Subway Series game.  I left to catch a 2:00 train, got to the park at 4, the game started at 4:20, was delayed an hour, ended at 8:20, I got home back at 11.  9 hours for a 3-hour game.  Unbelievable.  Johan Santana started out fantastic before he lost control of his fastball, the Mets couldn’t hit Pettite (especially Beltran), and Yankees fans are so fucking annoying.  Tom Seaver t-shirts > Joba Chamberlain t-shirts.

Get Smart was a really fun movie that was based on a 1960’s TV show to which it bore very little resemblance.  Steve Carell plays Maxwell Smart, a pencil-pusher for spy agency CONTROL who is reluctantly pushed into service (a day he loudly dreams about) when the secret identities of almost all the agents are compromised.  In the TV show, Don Adams plays Maxwell Smart, and the differences between the two are immense.

While both are awkward and prone to all-too-quick thinking, the main difference with which I had a problem was the fact that Steve Carell’s Smart is actually a good agent, making correct judgments and doing his job.  Adams’ Smart did no such thing, and managed to save the day using pure dumb luck.  I can understand playing the character differently, since there are no two Don Adamses, but such a 180 is low-level blasphemy.

The other main character difference is expected with such a difference in actors; while Don Adams was cross-eyed and vacant, with hardly a smart word ever coming out of his mouth, Carell has an obvious twinkle in his eye as soon as he becomes an agent; both Smart and Carell enjoy the hell out of this movie.

These were basically my only problems with the entire movie, and in light of all the hilarity that goes on otherwise, they are small gripes.  The sight gags are all fantastic (the code word is swordfish).  Alan Arkin is gold as The Chief, as are David Koechner and that guy who played Damon in Friday After Next (Terry Crews) as Larabee and Agent 91, respectively, Masi Oka (Hiro/Franklin)  and Nate Torrence (Studio 60 rookie) as Bruce and Lloyd, the tech guys, and Bill Murray (!) and Patrick Warburton in small roles that just killed me.  Did I mention that Steve Carell is hilarious in this? Because he is, no matter how different he played Smart.

Anne Hathaway and Duane (formerly known as “The Rock” in casting, presently known as “The Rock” to the world) Johnson are good with each of their roles, but not great, and they do nothing to take away from scenes – they basically clear the path for the pros.

The action in this movie is good, not great, but I don’t get what I heard about it splitting time between its action and its comedy – there are plenty of gags in the middle of action scenes, like the banner behind the plane, etc, etc.  And every comedy has to wrap up somehow, or else it’s just a super-long episode of live action Robot Chicken, as amazing as that would be.  So you can’t really fault it for that.

I don’t think anyone is expecting to be blown away by Get Smart – they were just expecting a really funny action movie and another Steve Carell vehicle.  That is exactly what we have here, so go and see it and have a great time.  Just don’t expect an episode of the old show.

P.S. – Who the fuck am I kidding? NO ONE HAS SEEN THE OLD SHOW WHO WOULD READ THIS BLOG.  Jeez’m craw.  Sorry about the whole beginning wasting your time, but at least now you have a way to act pretentious about film interpretations to your friends if you talk about this movie.

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